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Police I Have Known
For a year, Sharon and I lived in what used to be an elementary school in a small town in the Czech Republic. It was an amazingly spacious place by Eastern European standards. We had three classrooms,...
View ArticleNow Is Not the Time
I have two daughters in the second grade. Once every two days, they go to gym class. Once every three days, they have music. Once every six days, they study Spanish, and once every eighteen days, they...
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Rosebud
Somewhere around here are two drawings of our cats' butts. My twins drew them and showed them to me and I immediately whipped the drawings from their little hands, ran downstairs, and placed them on my...
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Two Pictures that Tell You Everything You Need to Know About Hiking the Grand...
This is what it was like at bottom of the canyon, on the banks of the Colorado River:And this is the weather near the rim, ten long miles up the Bright Angel trail:It's like hiking from Mexico to...
View ArticleFifteenth
Warning: This in an anniversary post, where I say things about the woman I married fifteen years ago. It's short, but feel free to skip it anyway. God knows I wouldn't read it on your blog.Sharon and I...
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The Tarantula Is Dead Long Live the Tarantula
So yesterday, Kathryn's tarantula, Imelda, looked like this:It looked like that for a long time. I know it was a long time because it was my job to keep Kathryn from seeing it. Apparently even children...
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Perseid
Just after 1 AM I stand in the wet grass behind my aunt and uncle's suburban home south of Minneapolis. I'm scanning the sky for shooting stars. For five minutes, maybe more, I see nothing. The sky is...
View ArticleCheck Box
My pen hovers over the check box on the yellow card, the ubiquitous yellow health card that I've had to fill out every year my kids have been in school. The yellow card they haven't updated in decades...
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M Is for Murder. And Mountain. Murder Mountain.
Sharon is using her vacation days to murder our children. I am certain of this.Back in May, she unfolded a map across our dining room table, mindless of the syrup drops and those tiny, dried end-bits...
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